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[–] curomo 2 points 19 points (+21|-2) ago 

The same thing that happens to everything that's illegal and only available though questionable sources... cartels, violence, increased availability, and lower prices.

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[–] goatsandbros 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

Coffee, hidden in cans of blow, coming from Columbia.

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[–] 30dB [S] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

But would you buy? Because the question is what would happen to you, not the coffee.

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[–] curomo 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Oh right... depends on how illegal it is. I've ordered drugs from France that aren't sold in America, but never smoked pot.

So on a scale of jaywalking to genocide, how illegal are we talking?

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[–] SpottyMatt 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I don't agree that prohibition leads to greater availability or lower prices.

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[–] iusedtobeonreddit 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

you mean i could get my coffee and dope from the same place?

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[–] VoutGuy 2 points 7 points (+9|-2) ago 

I would, as a tea drinker, clap.

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[–] 30dB [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Expected. Still, made me giggle.

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[–] Ch3ck3rs 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

what is your favorite tea? I'm currently rocking a blackberry herbal with a Vietnam Yen Bi Op black tea. So good :)

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[–] VoutGuy 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Earl Grey for cafeine in the morn. Then green Jasmine.

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[–] iusedtobeonreddit 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

here here

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[–] NamelessCrewmember 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

When they came for the coffe I said nothing. When they came for my tea, all I heard was maniacal laughter and clapping. You monster you...

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[–] kevdude 1 points 7 points (+8|-1) ago 

I would have an incredible raging fucking hellspawned migrane for a week at least.

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[–] 30dB [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Just a week?!! How much do you drink now?

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[–] kevdude 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

2-3 cups per day. Pharmacologically speaking a week is actually probably on the long side, even for a heavy drinker. Methylxanthine withdrawal takes 3-5 days IIRC.

Edit - nope, my first inclination was correct: Up to one week

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[–] ninjajunkie 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I would become a smuggler/trafficker and get rich or die probably. It'd be the most popular thing to ever hit the black market.

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[–] 30dB [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

We would need people like you.

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[–] iusedtobeonreddit 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

you could probably do that now

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[–] BASH_SCRIPTS_FOR_YOU 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

die probably

we'll probably all die eventually

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[–] immatureusername 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I have my own coffee tree bitches!!!! I will fucking own this drug trade.

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[–] 30dB [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

You have one now? I walked through a small coffee plantation in Hawaii and all I could think was 'heaven'. It was so pretty! Can I camp out in your backyard?

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[–] immatureusername 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Hell yeah. Just a little guy right now but he's taking off. Camping in backyard? Id have to charge. Too many viable sources of food back there.

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[–] GoofyGrape 1 points 4 points (+5|-1) ago 

Productivity would decline initially. I don't think a black market would be that large as there are other sources of caffeine readily available (soft drinks, tea, energy drinks). Starbucks would probably still be ok as most of their sales could be rebranded as milkshakes.

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[–] Professor_de_la_Paz 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I should cross post this handy article in the new sub for growing things but I can't remember the name.

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[–] 30dB [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I quite enjoyed that! I've taken to gardening lately but not ready to grow anything inside.

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[–] Professor_de_la_Paz 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Coffee trees can grow in a pretty wide range of temperature zones. They're sort of like fig trees in that if you're on the edge of the acceptable range they require a LOT of pampering to survive the winter.

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[–] sumguy 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Not a damn thing as I've never had even 1 sip of that vile stuff.

Reason? As a child growing up in Wyoming, anytime you did Anything meant hours in the car. I was afflicted with motion sickness to the point where vomiting 2~3 times on each car trip was par for the course and my folks Always brought one of those pump thermos things full of coffee. So I have forever associated the smell of coffee with throwing up. Fun times.

4 decades later and the motion sickness is gone (except for helicopters), but the smell of coffee still makes me feel like vomiting.

Even if all caffeine products vanished forever, it wouldn't bug me other than mourning the loss when I get the occasional headache (well, chocolate would be missed more than anything else).

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[–] 30dB [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Ohhh!! That's a horrible association. Glad you found alternate caffeine sources. Still it sounds like you'd give it up - or am I misreading the "would be missed" line?

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[–] sumguy 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I only consume caffeine (other than chocolate) as the Very rare soft drink which I'd never miss, as green tea which I drink for Other reasons/benefits and no the caffeine, and Headache medicine.

I'd give it all up in an instant. Actually, there's very little I wouldn't give up... I think books/reading would be the worst.

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