we all have guilty pleasures. mine is getting a pumpkin spice latte once in awhile and staring down prime, high estrogen, 18-35 year old sluts and slowly encroaching upon the space of the lesser dominant males in the room. when im establishing dominant eye contact with one of these whores and getting a reciprocated look and/or smirk, what i DONT need is to hear "STRAWBERRYCANDLE, GRANDE PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE" at that precise moment. even though i cant even look these whores in the eye again after that happens, i just know what they're thinking about me. but it's not fair. i'm well read on the JQ and esoteric hitlerism but now they'll never get to know that because of my secondary latte vice. i have the ideal aryan phenotype but after a certain line has been crossed it doesn't even matter. why cant the baristas just simply call my name? why do they have to add in the finishing blow of "pumpkin spice latte"? we all create and live in our own hell. this is mine.