Something happened today that I just had to share with my fellow FPHers.
(A brief description of the obeast so you can visualize it: Round, short, long-ish bright red hair in a bun, tongue piercing. I've seen her around friends and she's usually super loud and obnoxious. Feels very confident, and thinks she's desirable just because some guy cheated on his slim GF with her once)
I was just leaving a lecture at my university and made my way to the university library. I noticed the fatty from the title going into the same direction that I was going in. I knew this meant trouble, as I had noticed said fatty stealing glances at me during lectures a few times over the past few weeks. I sit down at a large, round table, and of course fatty decides to sit at the other side, right across from me.
So, about an hour later I take a break to check my messages on my phone, and send a few messages back and forth to one of my friends. My friend made a funny comment that made me smile, and as I'm smiling at her remark, I look up from my phone and accidentally make eye contact with the fatty. I just thought ''oh fuck'', and quickly averted my gaze. Unfortunately, it was too late. About five minutes later she scoots over to my side, all the while I'm just looking at her with a confused and disgusted expression. Here's how the conversation went:
Fat: Hey, so how is the studying going.
Me: Pretty well.
Fat: pauses I figured I would come talk to you for a bit, especially after you smiled at me so charmingly. (literally what? who even says shit like this?)
Me: Oh that. Yeah, that was just me smiling at something that my friend said, sorry. I appreciate that you thought it was charming though. (I should not have entertained the ham any longer, and expressed appreciation for the compliment, as it only encouraged her)
Fat: giggles Oh, oops, well I thought it was cute either way.
Me: .. Alrighty.
Fat: I'm sorry am I bothering you? You seem rather annoyed.
Me: I'm trying to study.
Fat: Wow okay.
Me: Would you mind scooting over to the other side of the table again?
Fat: Wow you're rude. (Stop saying ''wow'' all the time, what are you even surprised by at this point? I'm sure everyone has this reaction to you)
Me: I'm not really trying to be, but you're bothering me at this point.
Fat: Bothering you? I was trying to make conversation with you. I thought you liked me, so I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go grab some lunch sometime, but forget it, you're a dick.
Me: What the fuck? What gave you the impression that I liked you?
Fat: We always lock eyes during lectures..
Me: That's because you keep looking at me quite obviously, and I'm simply looking back to figure out why you're staring in the first place.
Fat: Sure. (This response really annoyed me. She was so convinced that I liked her.)
Me: Look, I'm just not interested, and I never was. You're not attractive at all.
Fat: (Her face just dropped, she glared at me, packed her stuff and left)
So there you go. That was my personal Close Encounter of the Fat Kind for that day. I'm sure this encounter will yield some ramifications in the days to come. If it does, I'll be sure to update here.