After eating Thanksgiving dinner, I decided to shitlord some of the fats in my family. (Luckily there are no death fats, but there are a ton of people that are overweight to obese.) After a reasonable amount of food, I announced that I was getting dessert and that I felt like being bad. Then I came back with a plate of fresh fruit (which is one of the things I brought, because I guarantee no one else ever would have done that). Then the inevitable question came about me being "bad" like I had said only moments before. I pretended to act surprised and pointed to the tiny dollop of whipped cream on the side of the plate being for the strawberries.
Then I got to watch in silent glee as everyone else either ate a single tiny piece of dessert or loaded up their plates and looked guilty and embarrassed about their gluttony. Of course all of the desserts vanished as people took them home with the leftovers, but I'm hoping that they'll still remember the sting of the insult every time they take a bite.
Edit: For anyone who thinks that I'm being unnecessarily mean to my family, keep in mind that they've been giving me crap for years for not eating enough or for being too skinny even though they're all overweight or obese.