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[–] mamadontmakeme [S] 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

Though, actually, I want to tell the full story here. I recently started dating this fella and he's my ideal partner; he's a physically active, sarcastic cunt, just like me. We have the best fucking time together. Last night, I slept over for the first time and this morning we went for brunch in the city centre; so many cows pissed us both the fuck off. Firstly, the cow mentioned in the text above, who decided that sitting in the corner screaming "EXCUSE ME" whenever a clearly busy (it's a very popular brunch spot) waiter walked past, because (I COULD NOT MAKE THIS UP) the chef had already spread a packet of butter on her toast and she needed more. Then there was the former male who couldn't fit into the booth available; again it's a crazy popular tiny brunch spot, after 11.30 you're looking at an hour plus wait, if not closer to two hours. His party were provided a booth after waiting at least 90 minutes, but because he COULDN'T FIT, they had to retreat and let a bunch of humans take their turn. The Fatcunt's group ended up sitting outside; it was <10 degree windchill. I was cold in my jumper because I'm not covered in BLUBBER.

We then went to adventure golf and the former human in front of us had to go get a refund because he physically couldn't fit to get to hole #4.

At least I discovered that my new partner is nearly as shitlordy as me.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] mamadontmakeme [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I have high hopes.

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[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

How do you go through life routinely not fitting in things designed specifically to accommodate a human being and not see the signs? I can't even imagine how you don't fit in any part of a mini golf course.

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[–] ittybittybitchy 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Shitlords who mock together make me believe in true love <3

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[–] mmmmdonuts ago 

Sounds like you went to IHOP lol

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[–] mamadontmakeme [S] ago 

We don't have that in my country.

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[–] wmeth 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

D'awwwww Shitlove

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[–] proteinfordays 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I've been seeing a guy lately who is turning out to be somewhat of a shitlord! We've talked a bunch about gross fat ppl and their excuses, SJW's, that sort of thing, and I can't help but laugh every time he throws out the word "fatty" (which is a lot haha). One night we were hanging out at his place, and My 600 Lbs Life came on, and we started watching for the fuck of it, but after like 5 mins he noped the fuck out haha. Needless to say he's in awesome shape and we've had some amazing shitlord sex lmao 😏

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[–] mmmmdonuts 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I turned my ex fwb into a bit of a shitlord. After he got a new girlfriend he texted me saying that she wouldn't speak to him for a couple days after he made a fat joke and he missed me. Have fun with that one Shaun! haha

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[–] Thereturnstudent 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

What a beautiful exchange

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[–] Pulsar ago 

I found such a person... She's fucking amazing. Same interests, same dog, same hatred of cattle.

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[–] Pm_me_ur_genetiks ago 

What a perfect date, a great breakfast, mini golfing and shitlording. Plus each other for eye bleach.

This gives me hope that I will find my own shitlord. 😍

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[–] mamadontmakeme [S] ago 

If he doesn't work out for me I'll pass him along <3 I wish you the best of luck in your romantic endeavors!

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[–] Twentyonepointthree ago 

Bingo wings 😆