Hi! My name is silverplate/ReformedFeminist. At Empress' request, I'm going to write about my transition from feminist normie to embracing traditional values and all the good that has come into my life as a result. I have a thin skin when it comes to insults in real life and the internet, so I likely won't respond to meanness. I would, however, be happy to answer any questions about this or be of help if any of you are thinking of starting homeschooling.
I live in a big mid-western city that is very Progressive. I voted for Obama because all my friends were doing the same. I was never very interested in politics because they never seemed relevant to my life. I listened to NPR and donated money to the local independent radio station. I thought I knew the way the world was and my place in it. I had lots of friends, volunteered at my kid's school, and believed everything the school and media told me with no doubt in my heart. My marriage was very unhappy. Over the past 5 years I have gone from that person to a woman who attends church every Sunday, homeschools my child, works out 6 days a week, defers to my husband, and believes that I have control over my fate.
First I'll tell you about what I've lost, because it is not insignificant. I have one friend I can trust whom I don't get to see very often. I used to have dozens of women I could call on or hang out with. I have a few 2nd-tier friends that I keep my mouth shut with so that my daughter can stay friends with their kids. I have zero support with homeschooling (besides my husband) because the co-op has realized that I don't adhere to their politics. I'm gossiped about and ostracized. I no longer have a workout partner.
Here's what I've gained as a result of my change in values. I have a church community that is extraordinarily welcoming. I've never experienced anything like it. My marriage is revitalized. I love and appreciate my husband and he responds to me in kind. My daughter is happier than she ever was in school. My little family is tight and solid. I've lost two sizes and gained muscle and strength. I enjoy my femininity and am no longer feeling guilty for being a wife and mother instead of having a job. Most importantly, my attitude towards everything in my life has changed. I tackle problems with the knowledge that I have the intelligence and fortitude to figure them out. For the first time in my adult life, I am not depressed!
This journey started when the Michael Brown fiasco happened and there were riots and protests in my city. My daughter's school became suddenly politically active and she was used as a pawn to promote their political views. I didn't realize I had any political views of my own until that happened. I took her out of that school and started homeschooling her. Around the same time I started to discover that NPR had a particular slant to their coverage of the news. This was very upsetting, as I had taken everything they said as gospel up until that point.
Spending more time at home allowed me to see the sacrifices my husband made every day for us. The ways in which he cared for and supported us with little gratitude or respect from me shook me. I started making dinner. I started working out and changing shape. I began wearing makeup to go out with him, even to go grocery shopping. I realized that this man whom I had been spurning and underestimating for the bulk of out marriage was still the funny, cool, handsome guy that he was when I met him. He noticed these changes I was making and was clearly appreciative. We go on dates now. I get the pleasure of knowing that he likes showing me off. We have private jokes and intimacy that we haven't had in years. We support each other. I mourn the years I treated him poorly and am working hard to make the rest of our years together wonderful.
There are things I'm working on. I'd like to get my own gun and learn how to conceal carry and shoot accurately. I'm hopeful that I'll find a new homeschool co-op for the coming school year, because I could really use some support from people who are in the trenches. I'd like to move out of the city and am doing the preliminary research towards that goal. I'd love to have some real friends, ones where I don't have to keep quiet in order to maintain a relationship. Being lonely for the companionship of like-minded women isn't much fun.
In closing, I am happier and healthier and more fulfilled than I've ever been in my life before. If I can change from unthinking normie to a traditional wife in a few short years, I know that other women can do this as well.
Recommended reading: The Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle; For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn