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[–] Maddmartigan 1 points 22 points (+23|-1) ago 

I think most people that have gone through that situation would now say that family has been their dream all along they just never knew it until it was thrust upon them.

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[–] InediblePear 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

100% I was livid when I found out my wife was pregnant, and said things I should never have to her. Now the best part of my day is coming home from work to a big hug from her and my three year old daughter, wouldn't trade it for anything.

Kids are also pretty dam cool, my daughter calls monkeys and gorillas "Obamas" someday that will bite me in the ass but for now it cracks me up every time.

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[–] Upchucktheboogie 1 points 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

Exactly

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[–] BaldMiscreant 1 points 21 points (+22|-1) ago 

Family should BE your dream. The genetic imperative overrides the drive for stuff. There's no reason you can't just work harder and do both, however.

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[–] baphometsrage 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

You can dream of a better job/career, an easier life, and fame/riches, but none of those are true dreams worth sacrificing what you were born to do above all else.

Nothing short of making your name known to future generations is a dream worth giving that up for, and even then it's not necessarily a given.

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[–] middle_path 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Most of those dreams are extremely fleeting. "Dream" in this context often means "I don't want to take any responsibility for anything, so I'll just travel and bang random women."

Family is the basis of our species.

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[–] lbruiser 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I have a dream of doing a six month thru hike. I cannot. I can do sectional hikes lasting only a month until I have completed the trail.

I didn't give up my dream, I just changed how to go about it so I can still take care of my family.

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[–] Newmemba 1 points 6 points (+7|-1) ago 

If you are a self centred narcissist you'd probably be a shitty parent, having a family will probably be a disappointment

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[–] EmJayGee 1 points 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

Been there, done that.

Yes.

I was lonely, wanted a long term girlfriend, she wanted a serious commitment so we got married. Then she wanted kids, I didn't really want kids but I'm the kind of person who once I say I'm going to do something, I do it. (I do my damnedest to avoid making the commitment in the first place if I'm unsure and I'll lead you along all lawyerly and shit if appropriate.)

Having kids wasn't easy. Started becoming work and expensive but we could afford it. Wasn't entirely sure the whole marriage thing was worth it but again I'm a man of my word and didn't want to go back on my commitments.

Then my son was born. And life changed. And dealing with vomit and poop wasn't something I was scarred of and dreading, it was AWESOME. Having my son was the BEST THING EVER. And I'm a big fat bearded computer geek gamer mathematician guy.

Does everyone have the same reaction? No. Some people get very depressed. I think it's a relatively small fraction of the population.

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[–] Angryelectrician 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I never had children, but I never really followed my dreams either. If somebody wants something bad enough they will make it happen regardless of their environmental situation. Too many people try to use their circumstance as a crutch for cowardice.

I don't personally regret not fathering children. But I have met many a woman in her early thirties that did regret following the feminist narrative of chasing a career, not settling down and having children young while they had the most strength/energy.

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[–] xenoPsychologist 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

is sacrificing your family worth having your dreams?

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