Story time. I'm 33, she's 37 but she looks great for her age. I started studying 3 months ago and met her there. At first we would just talk sometimes, it was fun I liked talking to her but I wasn't really interested. She looked too liberal. Had a tattoo in her forearm, dyed her hair red, etc. At one point like a month ago we had two get in groups of two. She begged me to be with her because I have really good grades and she was struggling with one of her classes. I have trouble saying no to pretty girls doing puppy eyes so I reluctantly agreed (I ended up doing everything by myself). Naturally, since we were going to work together I asked for her phone number. I got drunk lol, texted her and told her it was nothing sexual or anything but I enjoyed her company and talking to her and then the phone calls started.
I spoke with her on the phone every day for like 2-3 hours, sometimes more. She confided in me, talked about her family, what she really thinks about the rest of the class (she pretty much hates almost everyone). We talked about marriage, children, past relationship, the whole deal. She even started buying me things and bringing me food to eat at school. Naturally I though she was interested and well, we are stuck in the same class so I have all the time in the world to get to know her better.
Then she gave me a massive red flag. She asked me to do one of her homeworks (2 week job kinda thing, not a small homework). The excuse was that she needed to study PHP, the class she was failing, and if I can help her with that she will be able to catch up. I didn't like the idea but I reluctantly accepted because I knew she was going to fail without my help. But that got me nervous. Not that I am a very insecure person but the girl asking the guy to do her homework? And the guy thinking he has a shot? It's a stereotype for a reason.
We were extremely busy so no time for that kind of stuff, the trimester was about to finish and we were going to have 1 week off. I asked her out on a date and she accepted. I was afraid she was trying to lead me on, ask me to do her homework, and just friend zone me latter. I was determined to make my move and know right away before the next trimester starts and I have to help her again with school work.
I told myself I was comfortable helping my girfriend, but not helping some girl doing puppy eyes and giving me some attention. Plus I though she really was interested and since we are both old, I didn't see why we should be waiting like a couple of 20 year olds that have all the time in the world ahead of them. Since she is 37 and says she wants children I though I was doing her a favor by not waiting. Well, the day of the date came, she was sick. Poor girl, she has to stay home. I told her on the phone that I hoped she knew I was not looking for a best friend, she said she was not looking for a friend either. Good! She said that maybe in the summer we could do something together If you haven't found another girl. I was like wtf? I'm falling in love with, why would I look for another girl? Oops, cat's out of the bag, but we kept talking for like another hour. I took this as a sign that if she was not interested, she would told me at that moment.
Since we couldn't go on a date, I though I would do something nice for her instead and created a get well e-card from scratch, it was a bit romantic but nothing over the top. I'm all proud of it so I text her the next day to let her know to open her email. "I can't, I'm not home I'm with my girlfriend". Wtf? I though you were sick, but whatever, the card was already sent. Next day I write to her to ask if she liked the card. I haven't opened it yet, I will open it this evening if I have time. Now I really start to worry, so I press her. If she was well enough to see her friend she was well enough to talk to me. I told myself either she tells me this is going somewhere and returns at least a bit of the affection I am showing, or this is over, I will not be friendzoned for homework.
She said she was not interested in a relationship while we were studying (we have 9 month left) and got mad that I pressed her so much. She says I blew it because I couldn't wait. We had a bit of a fight. I know how she is and how she talks about other people behind their backs and how she tries to isolate people that cross her from the rest of the class, she already did that with someone. Not wanting that to happen to me I make a thinly veiled threat: "Don't worry, I won't tell everyone that the only reason you passed is because you cheated". Things get much worse. I'm trying to at least end things peacefully but I don't know, I don't think I want to be just friends with her, I won't help her with schoolwork that is for sure. At least she's answering her messages though. So what do you guys think? Did I dodge a bullet? Should I have been more patient? And what do you guy think about liking someone but waiting? Is it a waste of time? I feel like none of this would have happened if she wasn't asking me to do her schoolwork. I just had to know If I was being taken advantage off and if this was going anywhere.